Vivid Darkness....

I wrote this while in a relationship. i knew i should have ended it but familiarity and that fear of starting over kept me there. To not much of a suprise the relationship didnt last long. i had disconnect emotional and thus failed to put forth much effort to make it work. my words may frighten some but you have to look beyond the words and begin to feel. here it is:

ViVid DarKNess

Here I am exposed like a freshly opened wound at your disposal waiting for the antidote, just mangled guts pretending to care, as i lay here disease infected while moths and locus feast on my torn innards, your voice grows fainter and fainter until finally relief comes with deafness, silence entraps me as i slip into a medicine induced coma, your hands like claws with their sharp jagged nails reach out to touch me and they burn, steam rises from my body as newly wounded flesh falls to the ground, i am crippled by your lies and blinded by your deception, slowly falling to my knees i am led off by you into a slow tormented death, ultimate destruction, destined forever to hades.

This poem explains exactly how I felt near the end of the relationship. It starts off by saying i am a freshly opened wound, meaning that I was very vulnerable at this time. By now I had began to care about him and felt that he was the "antidote" I needed that could pull the relationship back together and make it work. But as the poem goes on he becomes the one thing that pulls me down and eventually my entire body breaks down whick ultimately leads to my destruction. You see it wasn't him who was being hurt in the relationship, it was me. I had began to give up who I was and put up with things that I knew were unacceptable.

Ladies, so many times in relationships we put ourselves on the backburner in order to cater to the needs of our mate but I have learned that it is of utmost importance to first love yourself fully before searching for someone else to fill that void of love. I entitled the poem vivid darkness because it was clear to me the entire time what i needed to do in order to regain control of my life but i chose to continue to live in that darkness.

What darkness are you living in that you know you need to emerge from??

It's time for women to love themselves and know their worth. The road to self love will be a long and hard one. You will even find that some people aren't going to like it when you find your happiness but you have to realize those are the people who are keeping you in the dark.

Continue to move forward and ultimately your joy will be your saving grace.

Later Days....