Vivid Darkness....

I wrote this while in a relationship. i knew i should have ended it but familiarity and that fear of starting over kept me there. To not much of a suprise the relationship didnt last long. i had disconnect emotional and thus failed to put forth much effort to make it work. my words may frighten some but you have to look beyond the words and begin to feel. here it is:

ViVid DarKNess

Here I am exposed like a freshly opened wound at your disposal waiting for the antidote, just mangled guts pretending to care, as i lay here disease infected while moths and locus feast on my torn innards, your voice grows fainter and fainter until finally relief comes with deafness, silence entraps me as i slip into a medicine induced coma, your hands like claws with their sharp jagged nails reach out to touch me and they burn, steam rises from my body as newly wounded flesh falls to the ground, i am crippled by your lies and blinded by your deception, slowly falling to my knees i am led off by you into a slow tormented death, ultimate destruction, destined forever to hades.

This poem explains exactly how I felt near the end of the relationship. It starts off by saying i am a freshly opened wound, meaning that I was very vulnerable at this time. By now I had began to care about him and felt that he was the "antidote" I needed that could pull the relationship back together and make it work. But as the poem goes on he becomes the one thing that pulls me down and eventually my entire body breaks down whick ultimately leads to my destruction. You see it wasn't him who was being hurt in the relationship, it was me. I had began to give up who I was and put up with things that I knew were unacceptable.

Ladies, so many times in relationships we put ourselves on the backburner in order to cater to the needs of our mate but I have learned that it is of utmost importance to first love yourself fully before searching for someone else to fill that void of love. I entitled the poem vivid darkness because it was clear to me the entire time what i needed to do in order to regain control of my life but i chose to continue to live in that darkness.

What darkness are you living in that you know you need to emerge from??

It's time for women to love themselves and know their worth. The road to self love will be a long and hard one. You will even find that some people aren't going to like it when you find your happiness but you have to realize those are the people who are keeping you in the dark.

Continue to move forward and ultimately your joy will be your saving grace.

Later Days....

First Impression: Hello World....

This blog has no boundaries and will consist of my thoughts, emotions, opinions on a variety of topics.

I've been told that first impressions are everything and from my experience this old cliche' has proved to be true. First impressions are what people associate you with, its how people remember you. So it's only fair that I wish to make a great impression on you, the audience, with what is my first blog. For weeks I've pondered over what I should write about first or how I should begin to give people a glimpse of me and how I see the world and I came up with one thing. It was so simple, as a person would with meeting someone face to face I figured i should start by saying, Hello.

Hello World, it's me.

Now that the formalites are out of the way I want to begin by explaining why I decided to name my blog "po folk's soup" and in order to do that you must first know a little background information about me. I am Whitney Buckley, southern born and bred. I grew up in the small, desolate town on Bassfield, Mississippi where a red light is non-exsistent and the only restuarant is a Ward's where they serve chili burger's so good you can't help but come back. My childhood was filled with building playhouses in the brush beyond the backdoor of my home and making mud pies after a peaceful rain filled night. For the most part I had a pretty normal childhood. Although there was alot of play time there was also alot of work. In the summers my sister's and I spents days picking peas and corn and in the winters we were in the woods with our father hauling wood for the fire place. This may sould like alot of work for three girls but I don't have any brothers and we had to take up the slack besides my father couldn't do it alone. I never enjoyed being in the field or having to haul wood and I didnt mention the five horses my dad had which my sisters and i also had to feed two times a day, however I learned to appreciate it because it taught me the benefits of hardwork. We sweat moaned and complained in the field but when it was time for dinner and we had fresh food on the table it was all worth it.

No matter how long we were in the field or whatever kind of work we were doing my mother was always there with us and it is from her that I get the name "po folk's soup". For as long as I can remember every winter she made what she called po folk's soup. In my mother's words, "po folk's soup is what you eat when you have a family to feed and no money to go buy anything. it consists of any and everything you have in your refrigerator. meaning you get a pot fill with water put it on the stove and you make a soup from whatever you have. Served with a peanut better and jelly sandwich po folk's soup is some of the best soup a person can get."

If you're wondering how this applies to a blog let me explain. This blog will consist of everything I have to give all mixed together in one "pot". I will be as open and honest as I possibly can. It will be my sense of peace and hopefully I will be able to help a few people with my words.

So, there it is, me. I am open and vulnerable. Do not judge me, for I am only human.



Later Days.....